woahhhhh [Saturday April 29th, 2006 12:23am] [ mood | drunk ] [ music | cute is what we aim for; teasing to please ] so yeah im real drunk. and the truth comes out when your real drunk right? lol well i was just looking at everyone's lj's and such. and i miss everyone so much. Last winter, and a little bit of the summer was really a turning point in my life. Im not sure why, but i feel like i can remember everyday of the past, but barely anything recent. Im an alien to everyone i used to hang out with. To all the people that actually cared about me, my real friends. Sure i like the people i hang out with now, but if i was in any sort of real trouble, none of them would be there for me. I miss my old life, i miss my old friend, i miss my old self. I feel like ive turned into some other person, someone i promised myself id never be. I just wish change was not something that happened to me, i hate when it happens, and i hate when it passes me by, and i don,t realize till its too late. beep beep

[Wednesday April 26th, 2006 6:48pm] [ mood | full ] YAY! kellie goes to hawain gold, and thats the gym i was joining! i feel so much better about joining now!!! =] i was really afraid i was gonna have to be there by myself! beep beep

[Wednesday April 26th, 2006 4:01pm] [ mood | complacent ] so! ummm its been monthssince ive used this thing. Im gonna start again! I NEED TO START GOING TO THE GYM! I have been putting it off, waiting for someone to come wiht me, but apparently that isn,t gonna happen. So friday night when i get my paycheck, whether or not anyone joins me, im joining the gym! & Im gonna go and lose weight! things are good! im going to junior prom... a little excited about that. School isn,t that bad, except for all the college stuff. I don,t want to grow up and make decisions, i can,t even decide what to eat everyday. Yesterday was nice. I didn,t have work, so me and mike dropped off my books, picked up lisa and went to get mike shoes. Then we went to wendy's since im on a diet and lisa has high cholesterol. We both got a salad while mike got cheeseburgers =[ lol. They were enjoyable. Then we went to 16th and sat on the bench with Dennis and Luigi, who were "working". lol I saw ducks. I watched them for a long time. I miss Alfred alot! alot alot! Dennis said he was gonna buy me one since i missed alfred so much! Im real excited about that! eh. beep beep

hooray for a snow day! [Friday December 9th, 2005 12:12pm] I love the snow! AND i love not going to school! Today is the greatest day EVER! lol I just shoveled my house, beasted on that shit! Soon im gonna teach lisa how to make a snow man! She isn,t one for the snow, but snow is my most favorite part of the winter!!! YAY!! beep beep

yay for the weekend! [Friday December 2nd, 2005 5:28pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | oh i think they like me! ] So this week was the longest school week of my life!!!!!!!! But im in such a good mood now! It all started last night. My mom asked me to go to the RICON! MMM MMM MMM GOOD! i love that place! So i went to dinner with my mom, my two aunts, and my grandfather. It was a good time all around. + my whole family likes to drink so they were entertaining as well. Just when it started to get crazy, Jeanine called me and came and picked me up! She was moving and all that good stuff, im happy for her cause she is happy now! So we drove around, chatted, and stopped by the bowling alley. More good times! Then i got home and did all my homework [which is really paying off]. & i showered and straightened my hair. I got to wake up fairly late this morning, since my hair was straightened. Mrs. Bodayle never showed for 0 period, so me and danielle bounced out of there at like 8:00. School was surprisingly good. Finished that HSPA practice shit, saw mr. tokars turtles, and took a nap on the couch in tv production. Then i found out i passed my chem test! That is reallyy really exciting! Then i found out that i did better then i thought i did on my history test! ut oh! im crazy. After school, while i was walking, Jeanine called me and came and picked me up. It was nice since it was kinda chilly out, and i didn,t feel like walking to work. Since i had alot of time to spare, we went to BK! we got big kids meals and hella cool toys! Then i got to work, that wasn,t anything special, except for the fact that everyone kept praising me. They were like Danielle you are gonna go far in life blah blah you are such a good employee, it was madness [but about time too lol] I just got home, and now im about to eat chicken left over from the ricon. And kellie just informed me, she found KAWASAKI, and my motion city soundtrack hat! Yay! PEACE YO! p.s. I will miss kellie being downtown, even though we really don,t hang out anymore lol. beep beep

[Friday November 25th, 2005 3:50pm] Lots of exciting things happened in the last month! Of course this past month had its boring moments too, but there is always that day that makes up for it. Im passing school! Well barely but i am passing so that is always a plus! I really do have to work on doing better tho. Second marking period is gonna be my time! lmao. Yesterday was thanksgiving. Spending time with my family was really annoying and really boring. BUT then i met up with friends and had lots of SOBER fun. It was crazy. And i love tea & cake. The day before thanksgiving, we had a "bootleg thanksgiving". It was intense. Not really lol but it was fun. I can,t wait till it snows. I love the snow. danielle is here, and i was cake so im gonna go eat it now. <3 PEACE NUKKAS! beep beep

[Tuesday November 1st, 2005 10:49pm] ♥ beep beep

the drama [Tuesday October 11th, 2005 11:08pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | we be burnin' ] SO it all started out when i was sitting eating a reese's peanut butter cup [this is now by the way] and i realize... this is my life. And im not upset about it AT ALL! im actually happy about it. I like most of the people i hang out with. I have the greatest friend ever. I have fun. Its still fun even when its chill! and im never lonely. i just figured id let everyone know that! ;] beep beep

[Thursday September 29th, 2005 4:24pm] i can fit 77cheerios in my mouth without gagging! BE JEALOUS beep beep

ill be your #1 with a bullet! lol [Tuesday September 27th, 2005 9:30pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | z100 ] They are gone. For good. They aren't coming back. This weekend was really hard for me. Im not really a good person. I wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for Lisa. My heart is really broken. And i need someone to fix it. I tried to, Lisa tried to, my mom even tried to. But its just broken. Im a hypocrite. I make fun of people who are "in" love, or have "experienced" love... when in all reality thats all i want. Just a fun fact for yall. I push people away, just so they will push back. They never push back, they always leave. beep beep

i could be an accident ; but im still trying [Tuesday September 20th, 2005 10:38pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | the audition ] I quit guard. Im not really sure why. I regret it already. Im gonna miss it alot. Im gonna wind up going to all the games, and watch them and be upset! blah! What is done is done. Tonight was boring. Tomorrow i have work and practice. Boring again. I hope something exciting happens soon. ....... beep beep

tomorrow is monday. [Sunday September 18th, 2005 9:18pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | z100 ] So, YEA! lol i got grounded for the first time in mad long! Like my mom always says im grounded but never follows through, well this time she did. I was grounded all weekend, but it wasn,t that bad! + she didn,t let me go to the game - she didn,t let my go to maureens housewarming + i FINALLY "officaially" got my permit - i had to stay in on a saturday night alot of people said i missed alot of fun =[ + it wasn,t that bad. i spent "quality" time with my momma + she took me driving this morning - i had to clean the backyard + we got hawt new furniture - i had to put it together lol + she isn,t disappointed in me i was really worried she would like think less of me, but she doesn,t =]! and she still loves me B.F.F. Lisa. This week is gonna be really fucking hard. This is the time i wish i had a boyfriend. Just so like i had someone to listen to me complain, cause im tired of making lisa do it lol. So, the DeVenutas are officially moving out. And as much as i say i won,t miss them, and im so relieved they are going... im lying. Like i lived with them for almost 9 years. I watched Marcella and Gino grow up. I fight with them like they are my family. And im gonna miss them alot. Sure it will be easier for my mom, but i don,t know. Like my mom is never gonna be around anymore, and i know im not always pleasant about her... im gonna miss relying on her. And its just gonna be so upsetting like when they actually leave. Cause they really don,t want to leave, and they already cry like every night. I don,t know what im gonna do the day they actually leave. I had to help take some of their furniture out today, while they weren,t home and i was like crying. I am not gonna be able to say goodbye. And its one of those situations where their dad says they can always visit, but not really. Like when you give a dog away, and the owner is like feel free to visit whenever, but there is never time or something like that. And i don,t want that to happen, cause i will miss them alot. This really sucks. I should be happy. I finally get my life back. Like i won,t have to deal with anyone cause my brother hardly ever talks to me. My mom won,t be around cause she is gonna start volunteering at some shelter. Ill never have to stay in on a Friday or Saturday to watch Marcella. Oh man. I just don,t want them to go. beep beep

ive learned the hard way; to never take it this far [Tuesday September 6th, 2005 12:39am] [ mood | crappy ] WOW I FUCKED UP TIMES 2! AND SCHOOL IS ON WEDNESDAY, SO I CAN,T FIX IT beep beep

don,t leave me when september is here! [Sunday September 4th, 2005 11:41am] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | z100 ] SO... Im single and he isn,t mad! I am such a beast!!!! Friday night I went to Lisa's house. I started drinking at about 8:30-9... Didn,t stop drinking till 9 in the morning on Saturday! WOAH! and i got some action! Kellie is a major cock block... but we are by far the best cock blocks together!! COCK BLOCK TEAM! I had so much fun! Ahhh but i was MAD tired. Last night, LAME lol nah it wasn,t that bad... i had a mini drama as lisa calls it. And i had to be home by midnight, so i missed all the fun! But its aiiight! Its only sunday! <3 beep beep

work is lame! [Wednesday August 24th, 2005 12:08pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | led zepplin; D'Yer Mak'er ] So i have a dilehma... well ive had it for quite some time now. SOMEONE DELETED MY MYSPACE!!!!!!! one day if i find out who it is... im gonna murder them, cause ive had my myspace for longer then a year! shitface!!!!! anyway... i miss my myspace, but it seems a bit too populated. DO y'all think i should make a new one!?! p.s. i miss hanging out with kellie and laura! those crazy cool cats, and of course gabbie, lauren, and agatha.. even tho i didn,t hang out with them that much... beep beep

what now?! [Wednesday August 10th, 2005 1:30pm] [ mood | crazy ] LIFE IS GEWD beep beep

where's the partay at?! [Monday August 1st, 2005 11:08am] [ mood | content ] [ music | the who ] So Im home! Yay! Last night was nice, hung out with Christian,Jared,Mike,Nick, and some kid John i believe. It was nice, but i left them after a short while. I soon then met up with Lisa, Matt, Pat, Anthony, Phish, and Andrew. We went up to BK, and who walks in but JOE MAJOR! he was with Kellie Lauren and Ashley. We sat and chatted in BK. It was nice. I missed them!And tonight is where the party's at! Im so excited cause i went like 6 days without drinking! AHHHHHH! i can,t live like that! lol beep beep

who needs to be optimistic? [Tuesday July 26th, 2005 3:37pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | the rocket summer ] So my last entry was really depressing.. haha i would delete it but im sure everyone already read it. My life isn,t that bad, yes i had a bad 12 days. But its over now. AND I AM AIIIGHT! Im not friendless either blah blah, and the last three days have been MUCH fun. But im leaving tomorrow =]! SOUTH CAROLINA FOR 5 DAYS! RIGHT ON THE BEACH! can,t fuck with that! well thats all, i just wanted to clear up the fact that im not a complaining depressed bitch... WERRRRRD! beep beep

[Saturday July 23rd, 2005 8:34pm] [ mood | crushed ] WOW. When you look back on the last two weeks of my life, boy oh boy have things changed. Am I a different person? So, I went to Virginia for like 8 days with kellie, to visit her aunt. I didn,t bring my meds with me. So when i got back, i had ALOT of problems. And no one was there for me. So on top of my mental issues i was in a high state of depression. I was really fucked up for a couple days and i felt non-exsistent. But the doctors put me on stronger meds, new therapist and shit like that. Unfortunately, when i returned home, i was left just about friendless. The few i thought i had, either moved on, or as some people put it, don,t like my mood swings. Which really fucking kills me cause most of them know i have a problem. Sometimes i feel like an alien, i feel like i will never really find anyone who understands me, and that is a really really scary feeling. I'm not suicidal or anything like that, but i really don,t understand why people do drugs when they are expecting a baby. Why would someone do this to me intentionally? There is so much that i don,t understand and probably never will. So anyway, im off the new meds, and available to hang out again, but like i said, i am left friendless. Im so tired of being alone. And this is the main reason i am writing this last entry. I am done reading everyone's lj's even though i don,t hang out with them. So this is it. Im done. this is my last entry, and i will not return to read anyone's lj in return. It was lovely sitting here and writing this, but now i must depart. -Danielle beep beep

[Tuesday May 31st, 2005 7:18am] [ mood | worried ] i hate being a bitch. this weekend was aiight. friday i spent it in the bathroom helping someone. saturday i some problems with kellie, but sunday night i got drunk for the first time in ALOT of months! it was relieving but at the same time i made some mistakes when i did that. someone was with me everytime i had a problem this weekend, and then when i was finally happy, he wasn,t. he is never happy. =[ im by far the wrong person for him. I TREAT HIM LIKE SHIT. so i think we broke up. but he really is a GREAT kid, and i really want him to still be my friend. we rushed things, he didnt know anything about me. i don,t want him to be sad, of all people he doesn,t deserve it! i wish life wasn,t all about titles, like boyfriend/girlfriend shit. it ruins so many friendships. i wish people could just hang out and hook up! what is wrong with that. no ones feelings would be hurt, and everyone could stay friends. i hate all this shit. i sorta feel like a bad person, cause i really did like him, but there was just too much commitment he wanted from me. and so much drama, and feelings. and i can,t handle that, and i probably never will be able to. and on top of all this i have MAD family problems. i can,t deal with both and still be a nice person! it just is physically impossible for me. IM A LESBIAN! beep beep

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